lame people & sad songs

so far, today has been a poopy day. i do not enjoy tuesdays. so here are my sad ramblings for this lame tuesday:

*how come just when you think you're starting to get the hang of something and you're starting to feel smart and accomplished, someone shows you how you're not actually that smart and crushes your happiness? story of my life today.

*i discovered the world of Pandora today. i've hear of it, of course, but today i've been aching for some oldies but goodies, and the radio is getting lame. so i'm currently listening to an array of songs on Pandora. some are sad, but they make me happy at the same time. know what i mean? plunging yourself into a pit of self-destruction by music somehow makes you happy. weird.

*just when i feel like i've been doing a good job at eating (mostly) healthy and i'm eating healthy sized portions and i go to the gym, etc etc, i'm overcome with a craving for a strawberry chocolate chip concrete from nielsen's, or brownie and fudge love it sized cake batter ice cream from coldstone (no, it's not just an ice cream craving, i know EXACTLY what i want). all of a sudden my stomach feels like it hasn't seen food in months and i might die shortly if i don't have it! lame.

*sometimes i miss the easy, breezy days of high school with michelle branch and avril lavigne and kelly clarkson to get me through my hard times.

*i still haven't gotten my wedding ring and bands saudered (def don't know how to spell that) together. it's been over a year now. probably should do that someday.

*i wish i had a window to look out of from my lovely metallic cubicle.

*how is it that we are always SO dang busy?? there never seems to be enough time in the day, yet what do we spend all our time doing? all i do is work. i don't have school. i don't have kids. why do i feel so drained and run-down most all the time? i need to figure that out. ideas?

*i sit next to bob. he's a middle-aged gay man (although the fact that he's gay has nothing to do with anything, really) who mostly ignores me, but sometimes randomly tells me stories about his 13 year old granddaughter getting caught stealing from the mall, or wants to show me a picture of one of his *awesome* tie-dye shirts that he made. sometimes he makes comments and i have my headphones in and i pretend like i can't hear him. is that so so rude? sometimes i'm just not in the mood for bob and his talk. sometimes he probably does say something and i really i really just don't hear him. i turn up the volume pretty loud sometimes to completely drown everything/everyone out.

*i love my husband. even though my work day today sucks, i know when i finally get home and am sitting in bed with jae or at the gym with jae or whatever it is, i'll be that much happier just because he's there.

alright, i think i'm done rambling. those weren't even good ramblings. i apologize. if you don't read this post, i don't blame you. but i do feel slightly better about my lame day now that i've told someone about it, whoever that someone is. so thank you.

until next time...


  1. oh mar, this post sounds entirely too similar to what i've been feeling lately. dallin just doesn't understand why i sometimes NEED those sad depressing songs. Don't feel alone in this feeling...i'm totally with ya girl!

  2. Sorry you had a lame day...I know how you feel with the whole, being-so-busy-and-what-does-it-amount-to? business. Hate that. But I love you! Hang in there.

  3. Oh Mara, I love this post because I feel like those are similar to the thoughts I have every day. I can't wait to see you and all the other girls this week :)