GNOs

i know this is totally random - can we talk for a minute about girls nights? girls nights after you're married and have kid(s), specifically.

why do i have such a hard time with girls nights?!?!?!

it's a question i keep asking myself. i sent that question in a text to one of my sisters the other day, and she responded very seriously and literally and told me a few reasons why it might be hard for me. and then proceeded to tell me how she feels pretty much exactly how i do on the subject, and i felt a lot better. and i remembered why she's my fav sister ;) we must be related or something.

it's so weird. i have some great girlfriends. ones i've known since i was a wee one. these girls have been through it with me - all of the ups and downs of everything from junior high 'love' to engagement break-offs to marrying the right guy to having babies. i love these girls. they know me. and i know them. and i always have a good time when i do spend time with them. yet, at this stage in my life, when we plan a girls night (dinner, a movie, just a low-key hangout at someones house, whatever it is), 9 times out of 10 i end up not going. and as silly as it sounds, i am truly trying to understand why i do this!

we plan something and it sounds fun. and i am genuinely excited about it. and i put it on my calendar in my phone and tell jae i'm having a girls night that day and it's all good. and then the day gets closer and then the day comes and then all of a sudden i am anxious about it and don't really feel like i want to go. prime example: my friends planned a little shindig the other night. i was planning to go. for weeks, it was the plan. then the day before and the day of came and i just was off all day. i was grumpy with my kids for no good reason, i was finding reasons to be annoyed at jae, i was stressing about getting this done or that done. i texted my sister the above question and we talked about it. and then i finally realized maybe it was because of being gone to the girls night that night. that was causing me stress. so i texted my friends and told them i couldn't make it. and after that, the rest of my day just kind of felt easier. i wasn't worried about stuff, i was able to be more patient with my girls, we planned something fun to do with dad when he got home from work...it was the weirdest. i am the weirdest.

there's just something about taking time away from my own little family. spending money (always a stressful, anxiety-filled subject for me, no matter what, i swear!) and spending time doing something that doesn't involve jae and/or my girls when i could be spending time with them (ie i'm not working and jae's not working) stresses me out. i don't like it. it makes me uneasy. and it's not like i'm worried about anything at home - obviously jae is more than capable of taking care of the girls and himself without me. it's not because they need me there. but i would just miss being there. or something. just writing this out makes me feel like a crazy person. i mean, of course it's not crazy to want to spend time with your family, but a few hours once every few weeks with my bffs shouldn't be so hard!?!

maybe it's because i'm a working mom and i'm already gone, missing dinner and bedtime three nights a week. maybe it's because i feel like it takes a lot of work to keep up on jae's and my relationship now that there are two little people that have taken over our life and i relish every minute we get together.

sometimes i think it would be a good thing for me to go and get out of the house and do something with girls i love that doesn't involve breastfeeding or wrestling toddlers to get them dressed or wiping snotty noses or singing abc's or daniel tiger. and honestly, it probably would be a good thing for me. like i said, when i do go to such events, i do have a good time! i enjoy the company of my friends! i almost always stay later and longer than i originally plan! we laugh and eat and have a good times together! i love these people. so again....i don't know.

all i know is i struggle with it most every time. the struggle is real! it doesn't necessarily make sense to me, and sometimes i need to just let it go and go have fun. but it is real, and i needed to just get that out.

i love you, my friends. sorry i'm weird.

postpartum & the struggles.

miss lola grey will be 5 months next week. WOW.

i am constantly finding that i am thoroughly enjoying her. i'm not sure if it's because she's my second and i'm not as anxious or worried or confused about mothering a baby as i was with gracie, or if gracie (being the two year old that she is) just drives me crazy so it makes lola look as if she could do no wrong (which she can't!), or a combo of both of those. but i am just loving this sweet little baby right now. she is such a light in my life, i can't even explain.

BUT.

i have also found that i have struggled more postpartum with lola than i did after gracie. my emotions are all over the place, i am SOTIRED, i am easily overwhelmed by anything, really. i was becoming the grumpy, impatient mom that yells at her two year old. and i have absolutely hated that.

i was fed up with feeling that way and also with feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin. i was the heaviest i've ever been, and i was eating like GARBAGE (thanks, breastfeeding, i am totally blaming you!). i've never been a great, healthy eater, but when i am nursing, i crave all the chocolate. all the time. ALL THE CHOCOLATE. i had lost 20lbs within a couple weeks of having lola, and then the weight loss ended - came to a screeching halt, and i hadn't lost anything else since.

i knew i had to do something.

a friend from high school became a coach for a exercise/weight loss program called beachbody. i don't really know much about these types of programs and i've never tried one. but i was desperate to do something to lift my spirits and give me some energy and help me start losing the weight (some of which i had never lost after having gracie).

i also knew i wasn't super accountable to just myself and i've never worked out or eaten healthy on any sort of consistent basis by myself before. so i had to do something drastic. like pay money! so i did.

i bit the bullet and paid my money and signed up and joined a group and got my package in the mail. workout dvd's, a meal plan, 21 day's worth of protein powder for shakes (shakeology), a bunch of shake recipes as well as other healthy recipes, and colored food containers to help with portion size. i also ordered two new sets of weights and a measuring tape to get my measurements along the way. i was serious!

basically it's a 3 week program. you are part of a group (on facebook) that is doing the same 3 weeks, but everyone is doing whatever workout program they choose - some did the 21 day fix (that's what i did - it's a good mix of cardio and weights and isn't too hard on a postpartum body that hasn't worked out in awhile), T25, P90X, hammer and chisel, body beast, etc - there's literally like 20 workouts to choose from. you have to log in every day and be accountable for your workouts. for your eating. for drinking your shakes. for drinking enough water. there were also challenges every day - do a wall-sit for as long as you can in addition to your workout, show us a picture of one healthy meal you're eating today, etc. nothing hard, but extra things to keep us accountable and working hard. and you know what? i kind of loved it.

i quickly found out i couldn't cut back my calories like i had hoped (thanks again, to nursing! not that i'd give up nursing, so that was fine), and i also quickly found out how out of shape i really was/am. but i also found out i could commit to something and truly do it. i did my workout every day, i drank my protein shake for breakfast, i included so many more fruits and veggies in my day and cut out so many carbs and sugars. I DIDN'T EAT CHOCOLATE FOR 3 WEEKS STRAIGHT. if that's not a success, i don't know what is!

don't worry. this isn't the part where i share a bunch of before/after pictures in my skibbies. no one wants to see that. but i am happy to say i lost 6 lbs! again, not as much as i had hoped going into this, but considering all the variables, i am just happy the scale kept going down. and i know i am gaining muscle too, so obviously that's not going to help the number go down. i know i lost inches too, but i didn't get those measured from the start, so they're not totally accurate. so i'm just skipping those this time around. anyway our 3 weeks ended this past monday, and i am so ready to keep up what i'm doing. i get up and do my workout every morning and that's how we start the day. my girls know i do that now and usually let me do it without too many complaints (usually ;)). and i am constantly looking at what else i can do - now that the weather is better, we are going on walks and i'm doing extra 10 minute ab workouts here and there, and i'm grabbing an apple on my way out rather than a roll or cookie.

i feel better. i have a LONG way to go still, but i am feeling more energy already. my clothes are fitting better. i am not nearly as tired every day as i used to be. i am finding more patience with gracie (i think that one will always be a work in progress). it's only been 3 weeks, but i am hoping to keep this up for a long, long time. i'm actually already planning to start another 3 weeks of workouts with another group in may. and i'm excited!

this was gracie 'flexing' with me :)

sometimes life is just hard. like after you have babies and you totally lose yourself and your identity and your body for awhile. i so needed this. for me. and i can't wait to see where i'm at in a couple more months from now.

life lessons from a 13 year old me.

my mom discovered this paper at her house. it's titled "things i have learned up to the age of 13", and was written by me in my 7th period class (whatever class that was, i'm not sure. i think maybe a computer/typing class?).

anyway reading through these things was both hysterical and proved i was pretty wise in my early 13 year old days. so here's what i considered important to know at that point in my life.

(written exactly as they were on the original)

i have learned that whatever you say or do will at some time come back and be said or done to you, so watch what you say and do.

i have learned that you should be nice and kind to everyone.

i have learned that there is no greater luxury than sleep.

i have learned that life is short, so eat chocolate.

i have learned that you should always do your best and never give up on anything.

i have learned that laughing heals anything.

i have learned that friends are a privilege. don't abuse that privilege.

i have learned that most boys are dumb.

i have learned that you should enjoy life while you can.

i have learned that you should not complain; it doesn't get you anywhere.

i have learned that the way that you choose to look at things is the way things will happen.

i have learned that ballet helps the soul get free from anything that troubles you in your life.

i have learned that the only way to get through life is by looking at the good side of everything.

i have learned that everyday, there is something new to look forward to.

i have learned that ice cream is good.

i have learned that you won't accomplish anything in life if you don't try and work for it.

i have learned that life can be fun if you want it to be.

i have learned to listen to teachers and believe what they say, even if you think they are telling the truth.

(not sure where i was going with that last one - typo maybe? who knows :))

see! so smart. and yes, ice cream is still so good.

surprise birthday bash.

(yes, i started this post in february, and yes i'm just barely finishing it and yes i'm still going to post it anyway).

well it happened again.
we had another year go by and another birthday to celebrate!
jae's on the 21st, mine on the 22nd.
but this year, jae turned the big 30!!!

he was less than thrilled about that number. but i have a feeling it'll be a good year for him :)
i decided it was a good year to do something a little extra special for him. i've never tried to surprise him for his birthday before, so i wanted to try it! i was so nervous it wouldn't work out - either he'd find out or no one would show up or something. but it actually turned out pretty perfect and i think he really enjoyed his night, which made me super happy too :)

basically, i had one of his besties help me out by spreading the surprise info to all the other friends. i told him specifically who i definitely wanted invited, and then told him to just invite anyone else who i'd forgotten or who he thought jae might enjoy seeing. we did this about a month in advance and then another reminder the week of. i was just so worried people would forget or not show!

after throwing around a few different ideas, we ended up just meeting everyone at the Garage in SLC. yes, it's a bar and we don't drink, but we've heard rave reviews on their food, so it's somewhere we've had on our list to try for a long time. plus it was a good central location for everyone that was coming so it worked out perfect.

all i told him was that we were going out on a special date. his mom came to babysit and we headed to SLC. he tried guessing a few different places of where we might go to dinner, but he failed. just as we were about to pull up to the Garage, he guessed it and i told him yes. he was surprised, but excited.

we walked in and i kind of pulled jae behind me to the back patio (neither of us had ever been so he was kind of confused where i was going, but i just acted like i was checking out the place). we got out back and i pushed him ahead of me to the patio area and everyone was there and said surprise! haha nothing was really actually planned for that part but it turned out great and he was super surprised! yay!! there ended up being around 20 people come and i was so happy. since being  married and then having a baby, jae doesn't get to see or hang out with his guy friends a whole lot, so i really wanted to make this something fun that was all about him and something he would really enjoy doing. it was so fun for me to just kind of hang back and watch him just hang out and talk and catch up with everyone. it was super laid back and casual, which was exactly what i was going for.

and yes, after all that planning and scheming and work behind the scenes, i only took one picture the whole night. i guess that just means it was too fun to worry about pulling out the camera :)

happy 30th my love! you're amazing and handsome as ever and i love you most.

PS...i have to add these in at the bottom since they are birthday-ish related.

these were taken at our Horrocks birthday lunch. gracie with her cousin jack (who's only 9 months older than her but a giant next to her!) and her super fun uncle jaron. aren't they cute? (i realize the picture quality is pretty terrible, dangit)

for our birthdays this year, we went on an IKEA trip and bought ourselves a couple of new dressers as well as a shelf and drawers/storage for gracie's accumulating toys, books, puzzles, etc. happy birthday to us! gracie was getting sick of IKEA (it can be a rough, long trip even for an adult) so this was the only way to help her stay pleasant for the rest of the trip.

my co-workers really went all out :)

and my cute message waiting for me on the bathroom mirror. love mirror messages.

attack of the giant baby mama.

oh yuck.
so let me just tell you what happened last night....
(i'm sure most of you will not care one bit but it was dramatic for me so i'm writing it so i can remember this terrible experience.)

so i took zoey out to go to the bathroom once more before bed last night. it was dark already, so as we were walking back inside there wasn't much light (just one lamp on in the living room). i looked down as zoey walked in the house in front of me and saw a ginormous spider crawl in real quick and under the door. i thought about trying to kinda escort it back outside, but was afraid it would run off into the house more and i'd lose it and then where would we be. so instead, i closed the door and grabbed one of jae's flip flops while never taking my eye off of it.

i should mention - it was on our rug, which is black so it was difficult to keep track of cuz it just blended in.

anyway, zoey had seen it, too, but i told her to stay back! she knew something was up, so she just sat back and watched me. i noticed it had a big black something on the back end of it. we have had a lot of these huge spiders in and around our house lately, and i recognized it as being the same spider, except for this big extra something on the back of it. i was confused and only slightly terrified, but i have killed them before and knew i just had to do it!

so, with flip flop in hand, i smashed it! i noticed immediately something kind of flew off the back end of the spider, and then the spider took off running forward. what the??! so i hurried and smashed it again and got it. then i went back to inspect whatever came off the first time i smashed it. after seeing a few little tiny things running around, i quickly realized it was a big huge MAMA SPIDER WITH A HUNDRED TINY BABY SPIDERS ATTACHED TO HER.

you guys.
UGGHHHHHHHH!

i went to grab some tissues and the garbage can and told zoey to stay! don't want her messin with no gross baby spiders. i came back and cleaned them up and tried to smash any of the tiny little buggers i could find. but there were A LOT and even though i did kill most of them with the first hit, a bunch got away, i'm sure. trust me, i did not realize this was a sack of babies or else i would've come up with some other plan of attack.

i hurried and called jae (who was at work) and told him all about it and how creeped out i was.
just writing this out right now is grossing me out and making me itch again.

hundreds of tiny tiny babies. seriously, it probably doesn't look like much, but i promise they were so little, and there were so many of them.

here, a little closer....

i'm sure you can imagine how nice and easy and pleasantly i was able to fall asleep after that....

tbt: first kiss

for those that don't read the life of bon, she does a throwback thursday post each week with a new topic assigned to each week. this week is first kiss!

i don't usually write stuff about my past on here, but i guess why not? it's supposed to be a record of me and my life (and jae's life and zoey's life...). i'm not very good with remembering specific details like others are (i wish i was!). maybe that's why i don't write more often about the past? especially at this time in my life called "i'm pregnant and lost half my brain cells", who knows how good my memory will serve me, but we'll see how it goes.

my first kiss was when i was about 13(ish. torrie & kayla - is that how old we were?). i guess if you want to get technical, my neighbor and good buddy jordan and i used to touch tongues through the fences separating our backyards when we were like 5. yes, you heard me right - touch tongues. weird right? not sure why or how or what inspired us to do that. but we did. not really kissing though, plus we were 5. doesn't count. and then there was the time my buddy brian and i kissed because "we were in a movie and we had to kiss for the movie". but again - when you're under the age of 12, does it really count as a real first kiss?

i think not.

so back to the age of 13. his name was also brian. imagine that. he happened to be the cousin of one of my best friends, and he lived in texas, so we only saw him during the summers when he'd come to visit for a couple weeks.

{the oldest picture i could find at the moment....high school graduation - me, rach, torrie, kayla}

anyway brian didn't actually like me. he liked our other friend, torrie. i knew this and torrie knew this and everyone else knew this. he flirted and tried to win torrie over, but she wasn't having any of it. not interested. i don't know if i really liked brian or if i made myself think i liked him and want to win him over just because i knew he was way into torrie and not me, but it's all the same in the end, i guess.

so when brian realized it wasn't going anywhere with torrie, he decided i was an alright second option, and "liked" me. again - who knows if he really liked me or not (i'm leaning towards not), but it didn't matter to me at the time, anyway. i remember one 24th of july specifically, we had all gone up to the park at st. olaf's (if you don't know bountiful, utah, then i'm sorry, you won't know these places. but just go with it) to watch the mueller park jr high fireworks. it was dark and we were waiting for them to start, and brian had drawn in the sand a giant heart with what i think was a B+M in it (i think...again - my memory is fuzzy). i vividly remember the heart, though, and i remember getting all twitterpated and blushing and thinking 'yay, he likes me!!'.

there was some hand holding and awkward arm-around-shoulder cuddling that went on and i was just loving it. then one night, we were walking around the elementary school just down the street from our houses. again, it was evening time and getting dark outside, and torrie and kayla were there, but took off on their own to give us some 'alone time'. {oh my, this is so ridiculous just remembering it.} we walked around holding hands, talking about who knows what, and finally decided to sit on the back steps of the school. we talked some more, and i vaguely remember i thought torrie and kayla were over to the side, hiding in the shadows of the trees. so there we sat, on the steps of the school just chit chatting. i don't remember details of what was said. probably a little of 'i like you' and 'i like you too' mush. and finally he went in for a kiss. honestly i don't remember many details except it was weird and i didn't know what i was doing really but i could tell he didn't either. it didn't last long. i was a little unsure about the kiss, but i was happy and excited about this boy and that we 'liked' each other.

that little relationship was (very) short lived. he went back home to texas and nothing else ever happened. i think the next summers when he came to visit were awkward and neither of us really wanted much to do with each other. i think in the back of my mind, i knew he never really liked me, he really just liked torrie. i was the second choice. and he just wanted to kiss someone.

and that was that.
not the most exciting first kiss story, but there ya go. first kisses and junior high and relationships when you're that young are just weird and awkward and meant to be that way, right?
good times.

newbies.

Jae and i finally switched back to verizon wireless after having crap at&t for 3.5 years. (he actually had it longer; i made the sacrifice and switched over when we got married. bad idea.)

anyway, we are back in the verizon saddle (i actually have service while at work, it's a christmas miracle!) and we got some new phones to prove it.

downside? i lost all my beloved pictures in the process.
upside? we were able to save all of jae's to a memory card.

i haven't gone through them yet and there are one's i need so i can post about some recent happenings, so hopefully that'll happen by....this weekend? sure.

anyway, i gots the iPhone 4S and jae got the Galaxy S4.
i think we're both pretty happy :)

so while we're busy playing around and getting to know our new phones (you all do that too, right? something new and exciting to mess with!), i'm sure i'll get back to blogging some day.

happy tuesday!

a bit of catch-up: letting the cat out of the bag.

now that we finally have internet again at our house (yahoo!), i found some pictures on our laptop that i never blogged about. one being the day we celebrated Jae's and my birthdays plus let my family in on the big baby secret!

monday february 18th:

we started the day with lunch with my family at olive garden.

then we came back to our house for some hanging out, games, cake, and ice cream.

{and the announcement that no one knew was coming! :)}

Jae's cake (courtesy of my mom)

my cake (courtesy of mom)

singing happy birthday to eachother

annnd the presenting of the surprise cake :) i am sad we didn't have one of us ready with the camera to catch the reaction of everyone. but it was classic! lots of screaming from my mom and sisters.

so fun.

twentyfive randoms on a friday.

  my cute friend emi wrote a list of 25 random fun facts about herself on her blog today, and told people to join in the fun. so this is me, joining in!

i make no promises to them being 'fun' facts, but here are 25 facts about me, nonetheless:

.1. my favorite colors (yes, more than one. can't narrow down) are purple and grey.
.2. bending and twisting my torso area is not getting any easier these days.
.3. friday = hair up in a bun on top of my head day. every.week.
.4. i like to paint my ring fingernail a different color than the rest of my nails.
.5. spring is my favorite season. while i do love fall, fall only leads to my least favorite season...winter. and summer is waaay better than winter. so spring is easily the best. got that?
.6. PINK from victoria's secret is in my top 3 favorite scents for ladies. i've used it since high school.
.7. ice water is my preferred beverage. anytime, anywhere. and no - no limes or lemons, thank you!
.8. i love to wear baseball caps. i used to wear them a lot more, and wish i wore them more now.
.9. ice cream (or froyo) is my favorite dessert. hands down.
.10. i love lists!!!
.11. both Jae and i love to travel to other countries. in the last 1.5 years, we've been to China, Malaysia, and Singapore. we have a HUGE list still to cross off. can't wait!
.12. one of my favorite childhood memories with my mom is blasting backstreet boys from the kitchen stereo (she liked them just as much as i did!) and cleaning the house together.
.13. i am right handed and stronger on my right side in general, but growing up dancing, my left side was always more flexible.
.14. i feel like a good baseball game on a sunny evening with a hot dog in hand is the best way to welcome in the summer. (and guess what we're doing tomorrow...??!)
.15. i'm a total daddy's girl. to this day, if something of significance is happening/has happened, i call and talk to him about it.
.16. i wish i could take care of every sweet puppy dog in the world. i hate to see them sad and without a good home.
.17. i play the organ (in church).
.18. i love taking showers but i hate the after-shower (aka doing my hair/make-up).
.19. i love target and i love/hate that we live 2 minutes from one.
.20. i've never broken a bone. (plenty of sprains, jammed fingers, displaced joints, stitches, but no brokens!)
.21. i can't watch a beautiful dance performance and not get teary. (oh how i miss dancing)
.22. i've been an aunt for 16 years.
.23. i have TMJ (aka jaw) problems. and if you have these problems too, then you know that it is just a huge dumb pain in my life!
.24. flip flops and tennis shoes are my favorite kinds of shoes. (but i don't discriminate - i love shoes of all kinds!)
.25. Jae's my favorite person ever! and Zoey's my favorite dog ever! (it's true - did you know?)

{april 2012}

happy a fabulous weekend, whatever it may bring you :)

i'm going to hang out with that hunk.

eye vs. mascara

mascara won.

i think this confirms my suspicions of allergies to this specific mascara.

of course, it's one of my favorites.

so when i woke up to an eye lid that was 3 times its normal size (it's definitely gone down from this morning to when this picture was taken), i decided it's probably a good day to go mascara-less 

(aka make-up-less, really. lucky co-workers of mine!)

and buy a new mascara....

but hey!
it's may 1st!
(and 30 degrees and snowing in parts of utah today, but who's keeping track....)

just another manic (and snowy and rainy) monday.

city work/dump truck - tangled with my car :(

not the greatest start to a week. and now i'm car-less for a few days. 

but it could've been worse.

praying for those in Boston.

ahoy matey.

i was told by a random passerby-er in the hall at work that i look like a sailor today.

{yes - i took these pictures while in the facilities. and yes - i left my badge on my hip for the picture.}

i like sailors and sailor-like things.

so i guess that's a good thing?

do i really look like a sailor though?

oh and hey guys, guess what??!

it's thursday!

that means tomorrow is friday!

yep - i know my days of the week.

cheers to a lovely weekend eve :)

26 big ones.

i had my birthday last week, and i turned 26.
i realized something kind of funny recently.....i'll try to explain.

you see, i think i've subconsciously always thought of myself as in my early 20's (well, at least since i was actually in my early 20's, of course). i see people or work with people or have friends that are in their late 20's, and i think of them as being older than me. perhaps it's just because i see them as being in a different, "older" stage of life than i am, maybe. and then, it kind of just hit me a couple of weeks ago......i'm that same age. i'm in my mid, almost to be my late 20's. now, don't get me wrong, i'm not saying 26 is so old. it's just older than i felt like i was. in my head anyway. you know how there are certain people that you babysat as a teenager, or kids you grew up with, and you always picture them as 8 years old or 12 years old in your head? but now, in real life, they're like 20? well, i guess in my head, i always pictured myself as...i don't know....22 or 23 maybe. does this make any sense at all?!!

so now that i'm 26....i feel like i'm 26. this is the first birthday in a while, maybe since i turned 20 and was out of my teens, that i've felt a year older. and dare i say, a year wiser too. i feel like turning 26 has somehow forced me into the next stage of my life, whatever that stage is. i know, this all sounds weird. it sounds weird to me, too.

anyway, we celebrated with my family earlier in the week, and with Jae's family the night of my birthday. it was a nice, low-key dinner, and i have yet to blog about any of the festivities. but i will!...(iiin a couple of weeks....).

i'm excited about year 26, and all it has to offer. isn't a new, fresh year just the best feeling?
i'm ready (as cheesy as it sounds) to experience life in my "older" set of eyes :)

five moment memoir

{because i'm feeling random...there's a random photo for ya. you're welcome.}

i admit it, i totally stole borrowed this idea from Torrie. she's smart and stuff. so why wouldn't i?

anyway, the idea behind this five moment memoir is to simply write down 5 things that happened to you that day. good things, bad things, weird things, random things. just write them down. they can serve as memories of funny things, crappy things to learn from, small happy moments to put a smile on your face, or dumb things you did and don't want to repeat again! it doesn't matter to me if they're important things or really unimportant, boring things. i just want to remember more of the details of my day-to-day.

it's currently 3:35pm (or 1535 if you go by military time, like me. but anyway...)
here are 5 things that have happened thus far today:
1. i had to literally dig my car out of the snow this morning. i didn't drive it at all the last two days so it was pretty snowed in. and even after digging it out, it still took me three tries to get out of my driveway.
2. it took me almost an hour to drive to work today. it was very snowy and slushy and slow. but the roads could've been worse.
3. i had cold pizza for lunch. i don't usually like to heat up my leftover pizza.
4. i haven't even drank one whole water bottle full of water yet today. which is so not me. usually i have two just while i'm at work, plus whatever else i drink at home. 
5. i have officially "hit a wall". aka i'm done working for the day. although physically, i'm still at work. 

what 5 things of (in)significance happened in your life today?

flip{ped} the switch.

so as i was driving home from work yesterday, i had the sudden inspiration.....

i need to go running.

i need to get in shape.

i need to eat healthier all the time.

 i need to go running...tonight!

 so i did.

i got home, changed clothes

(aka got layered up...hello 10 degrees outside),

turned on my music,

and went running.

i went running for about half an hour.

couldn't feel/move my face once i was done

because it was so numb.

but while i was running, i actually felt a lot better

than i thought i would.

of course, once i got home and stopped running,

i felt like complete garbage.

but ya know.

i have goals set in my mind

and i fully intend to keep them.

for some reason,

i feel slightly more motivated this time

than all the other times i've

"had the inspiration".

perhaps it's the fact that i counted

and we only have 7 weeks until we spend a week

in a swimming suit on the beach in Hawaii.

yesss. i can do this. 

our list.

 as i've mentioned before, i'm not big on making a hefty new years resolutions list every year, but i did jot down a few things on a note in my phone at the beginning of 2012, so i thought i'd do a little inventory and see how i did. this was my list:

.finish house & move in

.eat healthy/regular gyming

.get sealed

.make a baby

.save money

well, i'd say i consistently and completely kept about 2 of those. great record, eh? they were an important couple of to-do's, so i'm not too worried about it. we also accomplished traveling to china and malaysia, so i'd say that's something worth mentioning. we have a whole new year in front of us to keep working to be better and get things done, right? (it's easier to stay positive and motivated when you're not so hard on yourself. that's what i tell myself, anyway.)

so as for a list for 2013:

(you might recognize a couple from last year's list...)

.eat healthy/regular gyming (lose 10 lbs & keep it off)

.pay off debt AND save money

.get the exterior of our house looking...decent

.start a family

.make a habit of praying as a couple daily

.attend the temple at least 3 times a month (as a couple or individually) 

.make "real" dinner 1-2 times a week (sounds wimpy, but trust me, it'd be an improvement)

i wish us luck.

.

 

{let it be}.

it's been decided.

this will be our 

phrase/word/goal/motto/whatever else you'd like to call it

for 2013.

i feel very behind on my blogging lately,

and that really bothers me.

it makes me feel stressed!

so hopefully i'll get a bit caught up soon.

happy new years everyone!

here's to the best year yet.

2013.

let's be real for a minute here.

around this time of year, most people are thinking of what they want to focus on next year. how they want to be nicer. how they want to be in better shape. be a better friend. be more patient. how they want to work hard and make lots of money.

while i have some of these same thoughts, i'm not typically one to write down a big "resolutions" list. i kind of find if unrealistic (my track record speaks for itself.....). i've seen a few people/read a few blogs that pick a simple word or phrase for the coming year to focus on. i find this idea much more realistic. much more doable. if i'm picking something that helps remind me to be a better person in life in one way or another, it's bound to affect most aspects of my life and help me be better at all those things i could be writing on my resolution list.

you feel me?

i haven't quite settled on what i want to pick for this coming year yet, but i have a few ideas rolling around. i'm feeling especially inspired by these thoughts. it will be hard to narrow it down.

the day after.

well, we stayed up entirely too late last night (for a girl who was supposed to get up and get to work at a reasonable time this morning) watching the dark knight rises on blu-ray (one of Jae's gifts). but he was like a kid in a candy shop and couldn't another second to watch it. and i finally made it into work at about 930 today. and tonight, we're using one of Jae's other Christmas gifts....going to the Jazz game! 

so it's all good.

i haven't quite got all my pictures put together about our Christmas fun yet, so i'll post on that a little later. for now, a snippet of what the pup and i did on our Christmas afternoon (while Jae had to go work for a few hours...boo.) hope your holiday was as busy and fun as ours!

Zo and i snoozing watching one of my all-time favorites - the muppet christmas carol.

christmas wishlist 2012

a few things i wouldn't mind seeing under the tree this year...

 

skirt - old navy

fun tights - nordstrom 

jacket - the north face

phone! - iPhone

mixer - kitchenaid

black pumps - steve madden

**i feel like i should comment on the events of this past friday in connecticut. but i'm not really sure what to say. and i feel a little silly posting about high heels and mixers while there are families that just had their worlds turned upside down.  i am grateful i got to spend more time than usual with my nieces and nephews the last couple of days. i don't have any children of my own yet, but my heart hurts for those moms and dads, brothers and sisters that lost someone this weekend. they are in my thoughts and prayers.